The journey…continued
So here I am….again. Sitting down at this Mac Book putting out words on the internet to convey my thoughts. Only this time it’s a new Mac Book and my life and career have twisted and turned so much…Even I can’t keep up.
But I’m here and I’m grateful.
See, back in 2015 I started having little ‘breakthroughs’ otherwise known as ‘realizing stuff’ as Kylie Jenner would say. I was unhappy in a lot of ways. I felt misaligned on my career and entire life and I was COLD. Like literally cold. I was exhausted from the Chicago winter and the only place I ever felt good was the Core Power Yoga C2 room.
So I quit my job, broke up with my boyfriend and broke up with Chicago.
I took a loooong round about journey to L.A. to give the sunny weather a shot. I can’t even share in one post all the things I learned in LA but I can summarize it like this….. I hated LA. The weather was nice but the people were awful. And maybe it was simply the places and spaces I was spending time in (Beverly Hills for work) but I just couldn’t see myself there long term. If I can be honest, I’d say that I never felt more Midwestern and more Puerto Rican until I moved to LA.
Eventually, I started grad school out there. I had been nannying (because some nanny’s make more money in LA than teachers) and my brain was feeling so under worked and so under stimulated. My boss sent me on a trip to Lakeshore learning to buy some educational toys for his kids and I felt like I was finally home. No joke, it was like speaking my native tongue again after spending too much time in a foreign land.
Which is was brought me to grad school. But again, those high standards of mine are rarely satisfied…especially when it comes to education. So I sat down and started reviewing programs that would be a better fit for me. I was looking at schools where I could attend classes full time as opposed to an evening program. I was looking for community and leadership opportunities. I was looking for a place where folks actually acknowledged race and social inequalities in addition to literacy. I scrolled and scrolled on the internet until I found the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Yes. THE Harvard.
When I told my mom I was applying, she looked at me and said, “ay Sabrina, whatever“ and walked away because she was fully aware of my tendency to do the absolute most. And still, she was my biggest supporter during that time. She edited every essay, read over each draft of my resume, gave me tips and tricks and even told me to calm down and take a shower when one of my letters of recommendation was delayed. And she was my biggest cheerleader when I got in.
Fast forward to now, January of 2022. I graduated from Harvard with a Masters Degree in Education specializing in Language and Literacy with a Reading Specialist License from the state of Massachusetts. I was awarded the honor of Class Marshall recognizing my high level of involvement with clubs and organizations on campus. Yes I did the most but it was at HARVARD. Every penny of tuition money (and the student loan interest!!!!) was made worth while.
I started a job back in Chicago teaching 7th grade reading, writing and social studies to some of the most amazing 7th graders in the entire city. I loved my job, I loved my career, and I loved waking up every single day feeling like I was bringing Harvard access and knowledge to my community of Humboldt Park. I continued with my shop, Shop La Maestra, doing pop ups in the city and selling ‘Educated Latina’ merch. I started volunteering for the Puerto Rican festival and made so many friends and connections in my community. I felt like I finally found every little thing that was missing to make my life feel full.
But as time goes by, things shift and the optimism starts to wane. The pandemic hit and I was at my limit with the institution of schooling. This might sound like the laziest thing in the world but I started to realize that I wanted to be home and hang out with my dog more than I wanted to go to work. I started growing in community projects that were more fulfilling that processing on track/off track data that seemed to be very little help. My entire educational career, since the 2012 teaching strike my first year in the classroom, has been extremely volatile between strikes and furlough days and strikes again PLUS the pandemic. I was exhausted and tired and losing my spark. In the words of Samantha Jones, I loved my students but I loved me more.
So I quit.
And now I’m on the next leg of my journey. I still love education and learning and reading and social studies and working with students. I still spend time in classrooms doing all the fun educational things. But I’ve decided to choose me and discover what freedom can look like. Who know’s what the next step will be. All I know is that it includes this website, this blog and following my joy.
If you’ve made it this far in my story, you’re probably interested in the things I have to say. Thanks for that. It means the world to feel like you’re being heard, which isn’t often the case as a classroom teacher. So I’m going to continue to use this space to talk about all things education and life. Like for one thing, I can’t wait to formalize my thoughts on the unpaid labor of student teaching and how the education system is built on the backs of women. I’ve got a whollllleeee lot to say on that. But for now, I'll end this post saying thank you for reading and caring <3 It means a lot that you’re here.
